To A Place

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lyrics

Learning

I stand in the rain, my hair’s bleeding red
as much as I change, you stay the same
My skin is so pale, and you’re so secure
tell me, why do I fail of my own accord

Chorus
I’m learning to love, learning to lose
learning to live but not by the rules
Learning to be, learning to grow
learning it all as I go

I feel you sometimes, and I wish you were here
you left before I could understand fear
I visit your grave, and I shed a tear
’cause the smile that I save has been hidden for years

Chorus

I stand in the rain, now my hair’s bleeding black
as much as I change, you never look back
And isn’t it strange how days turn to years
still I can’t explain what’s keeping me here

Chorus
I’m learning to fly, learning to stand
I’m learning to use my voice and my hands
Learning to be happy with me
happy with me
happy with me

Toronto

Driving north on 81, going to Canada
trying to get away from everything and everyone
The car is packed, the sun is high
I’m doing 85 and 28 truckers honk as we go by

Saturday we hit the town, and these guys we found
they took us to a place they call the Lava Lounge
The play in a rock & roll band, they’re our kind of men
and I danced all night with the one with rainbow dreds

Chorus
How can I go back to what I know after I’ve seen Toronto

Out again on Sunday night, we hit an open mic
I don’t need my guitar ’cause they have an upright
Meet the man behind the keys, he brings me to my knees
and he kissed me in the bar just a little after 3

Chorus

My mama said, “Go out and see the world”
but I never thought the world could satisfy this girl
There’s a place up north I like to go
where we just drive and we just flow

Driving south on 81, back to the states we come
I’m gonna miss this place, but damn, we sure had fun
Joni sings and Jilly drives, we’re smokin’ Camel Lights
and in this moment everything feels right

Chorus (2x)

On & On

Walking on the red brick road, my knife is cold against my hip
and a cigarette hangs from my lips, and I am just alone
Everyone is so damn cool, trying to be something else
it’s a game of show and tell, and everyone’s a fool

So I put my black eyeliner on
it makes me hard, it makes me strong
I straddle you and write a song
it keeps me going on and on and on

I hit the bar on Friday night, and Marty plays a tune for me
and Robbie gives me drinks for free, and everything’s all right
Driving to the diner now, same routine I’ve come to know
Dan sees me and says, “Hello,” Jane puts a cup of decaf down

So I put my little smile on
it makes me sweet, negates what’s wrong
and you don’t care about my songs
that keeps me going on and on and on

Driving home, it’s after 4, you call me, you want some love
but I have nothing to give up, so I just leave you wanting more
Then I lay down, I close my eyes, thoughts are running through my head
about the way things might’ve been, the alarm goes off, it’s time to rise

So I put my black eyeliner on
it makes me hard, it makes me strong
I straddle you and write a song
it keeps me going on and on and on
So I put my little smile on
it makes me sweet, negates what’s wrong
and you don’t care about my songs
that keeps me going on and on and on

Anyway

When I am not onstage
when I don’t act my age
when you see me at the dawn
without my makeup on

Chorus
I can be so artificial
I can be so temperamental
I can be so hard to handle
Will you love me anyway

When I don’t shave my legs
when I bitch and I complain
when I don’t mean what I say
when I stay in bed all day

Chorus

When I need time to be alone
when you see what’s underneath my clothes
when you know all the things I hide
will you stay or wave goodbye

When I hang with the guys
when sadness fills my eyes
when I am old and gray
when I put on some weight

Chorus

Better Land

Every morning, I take the pill the doctor gave me
It helps me keep my sanity
I’m sick of the world telling me what’s wrong with me
I can’t believe that I define myself by what I see on TV
Still I take it personally if you don’t like what you see
I know I shouldn’t, but it’s me they’re selling in the music industry
creativity is cheap

I wanna pack my things and blow this town
I wanna kiss you right here and now
I wanna play real hard and sing real loud
and if you don’t like it, well then get the hell out

Chorus
‘Cause tonight lets smoke like chimneys and drink like fish
Lets get on the freeway and blare 7 Year Bitch
When you don’t want the world to seem so bad
Come with me, we’ll close our eyes and make a better land

So I’m walking down on South Street
and the Jesus freaks are approaching me
Come into the light, fight the good fight, make the wrong right
oh don’t tell me how to live my life

I wanna run through graveyards and wake the dead
I wanna forget the bullshit that I’ve been fed
I wanna turn reality into pretend
and if you don’t like it you can say you knew me when

Chorus

So the gig is over, we hit the diner, it’s 2 am
we’re winding down again
but I need something more than coffee running through my veins
I gotta get out of this place

I just wanna make love with myself
I wanna love you and hate everyone else
I wanna change the hand that I’ve been dealt
and if you don’t like it, well then, go fuck yourself

Chorus

This Crazy Scene

I walk the streets of my city
and I’m so dismayed when I realize how shitty things are
Little boys yelling cat calls from their mommy’s cars
and all the rest are getting drunk down at the corner bars

Chorus
What happened to, “Hello, how are you?”
Where did it go, I really don’t know
Am I the only one who can see
I need to quit this crazy scene
I need to go and live my dream

I walk the streets of my city
and I see the girls at the clubs shaking what they can
and, yes of course, all the men pay attention to them
and here I am, just a girl with her piano singing

Chorus

Well I’m not pretty, and I’m not commercial
but at least I live what I sing about
and that’s more than I can say for you in your halter top
with pretty pop songs, and your dancers, and your bodily enhancers
Oh what has this world come to
I hope I never turn out like you

I walk the streets of my city
and I see the man on the corner searching for some bus fare
people disregard his presence, but they know damn well he’s there
and I cry, oh I cry ’cause life can be so unfair

Chorus

You Take Me

I feel naked, but I’m clothed, I’m being pulled by the undertow
there are things you think you know, but you don’t
The cigarettes replace the air, your hands are running through my hair
and I don’t want to be anywhere but here because you take me

Chorus
To a place where I can breathe easily
To a place where I can see what’s ahead of me
To a place where I can be anything

I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable to anyone
I am used to living life for me
I’m afraid that you will see all the things that are wrong with me
but I forget when we lay down to sleep because you take me

Chorus

Oh well you give and you give and I take
and it’s all I can do not to break
oh you hear every word that I say

My time with you is so serene, you know exactly what I need
I’m a selfish thing, so if I forget to say please will you still take me

Chorus

The Motions

Morning breaks and I’m lying here, blinded by the sunlight
And it takes everything inside of me to face my face
I go through the motions of the day
Yeah, it’s okay
Hey bartender, can I have another? Something’s heavy on my soul
I know it’s time to close, but can I stay a little longer? See, I don’t wanna go home
I go through the motions of the night
Yeah, it’s all right

Chorus
Oh tell me how I got this way
I don’t remember yesterday
And tell me how I got this far
I don’t know anymore

All the people, all the traffic, all the noise
Is it ever really quiet?
All the beauty, all the scars and all the choices that I made
Will follow to the grave
I go through the motions of time
I go through the motions of mine
Yeah, I’m fine

Chorus (2x)

Sin

Hey preacher man, what’s the word down on the street?
“The Lord is comin’, better get down on your knees
Better watch your step and the air you breathe
Better say your prayers to be redeemed
Oh to be redeemed”

Well I, I told him I had Jesus Christ last night
In the back room of a low down dirty dive
He said, “Don’t worry baby, it’s all right
Just take a tip from Judas and deny
Oh and just deny”

Chorus
I know I should save my soul
I know time will take its toll
I know I should not give in
But baby it just feels so good to sin

An angel on my shoulder, a devil on my back
Temptation in my blood, it’s flowing fast
The angel says, “Turn the other cheek,”
But the devil says, “Revenge is oh so sweet
Yeah it’s oh so sweet”

Chorus

So I was walkin’ down the street in the rain and this fella pulls up and he says,
“Hey baby, you look like you could use a ride,”
and I say, “Sure, why not,” so I get I the car and I tell him,
“Just a few blocks will be fine,” but he says,
“No baby, I’m takin’ you for a ride.”
Next thing I know he pulls up in an alley,
There’s a knife at my throat, there’s a knife in his back
And there’s blood on my hands, and I say to myself,
“I think I just killed a man.”

Hey father father, I killed a man tonight
How ‘bout six Hail Mary’s, will that fix me up right?
He says “Genuflect before the Lord,”
And I say, “Just like I did two nights before?”
Oh two nights before

Chorus

Tired & Torn

My veil is wearing thin, my skin is not as thick as I pretend
I fear this is the end, I cannot hear the voices in my head

Chorus
I’m tired and torn
My voice is softer than before
Only words, pieces of these thoughts that are not heard
No, you don’t wanna hear them do you

On the other side, reaching out for something I can’t find
I see it in the eyes, a vacancy that kills me every time

Chorus

I lost myself somewhere in the pills and the walls of these institutions
And all I see is you in front of me
And yes this time, I know, I know… well I know
That I must go out on my own

My veil is wearing thin, my skin is not as thick as I pretend

Chorus

Make Our Own Damn Rules

Let’s drive down to Mexico, drink margaritas by the shoreline
Then go to San Diego, where we can hook up with some friends of mine
Sit under the desert sky and watch the sunrise
And in the morning we’ll kiss and say goodbye

Let’s drive up along the coast and chill out in San Francisco
Find music that stirs the soul in a bar with a piano
Hit Seattle in a few more days, we’ll drink lattes and walk in the rain
And in the evening, the moon will light our way

Chorus
I wanna leave this place and start anew
Forget the world, just me and you
Oh we’ll leave the past and all we knew
Yeah we’ll live and we’ll love and we’ll make our own damn rules

Let’s drive straight into the sun, just like Thelma and Louise had done
Wild Turkey and a loaded gun, I wanna drive as if we’re on the run
Dance naked among the trees, yeah we’ll call the moon and feel the breeze
And in the moment, we’ll put our minds at ease

Chorus
Yeah la la la la la
Yeah la la la la la

Let’s meet up down at the beach, and baby bring that old acoustic
Feel the ocean under our feet, yeah, I’ll sing the tunes – you keep the beat
Let’s stay up until the dawn, just makin’ music all night long
And when you wake up, oh baby I’ll be gone

Chorus

Do You Know Who I Am

There’s a boy and his guitar in all the coffee shops and bars
I see his poster on the wall and I am nothing at all
I go to classes everyday, I bust my ass to make the grade
Then I go out every night and try to live a rock star life

Chorus
Do you know who I am?
Do you know my name?
Will you recognize when I’m onstage?
Do you know what I do?
Do you have a clue?
Do you know I wanna be just like you?

I heard you headline at The Grape, your demo got you your big break
Now your name’s on the marquee, just like mine wants to be
You got your tour bus and your fans, playing with your perfect band
Got a spotlight on your face and I’m stuck in this place

Chorus

You spend your days out on the road, writing songs I’ll come to know
I remember when you were a nobody too
And if I came to see your show, would you ever even know
I was the girl who played those tunes at that open mic with you

Chorus